Present and Future Posts on the Past

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long... (see previous post!)

It's true, I've lost momentum. Blame it on being overworked and overtired. Blame it on stress. Blame it on moving and unpacking, and getting my house in order (oh, yeah, we moved to the burbs and bought a house - details to come in a future post, or not). Blame it on wanting to spend my idle time spending time with Jake. Blame it on spending my idle time watching American Idol. Blame it on Facebook. Blame it on the rain that was slowly falling. Whatever the reason, it would seem that my daily schedule and motivation are not aligning to send me to the computer to update this here blog. Do I feel guilty? Hell yeah I do.

For now, I'm going to work on backtracking a bit to cover all the milestones and pitfalls we've had over the past few months. There's been a-plenty of both.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is my favorite holiday. At one time I tried to make myself sound cooler by falsely claiming New Years was my celebration of choice. Afterall, that fit in better with my party-girl image. But who was I kidding. How can you compare blowing a few horns and maybe kissing someone at midnight with presents? C'mon, presents! There's not much competition, is there.

In keeping true to my well intentioned philosophy of indoctrinating my beliefs upon my child, I went out and purchased this lovely onesie for his Christmas photos:

By the way, did I mention that Jake is half Jewish? Regardless, Christmas calls for celebration. Decorating, presents, food, and more food. And then, more food. My Aunt Jo makes three dinners for Christmas - Egg drop soup, followed by ravioli, meatballs and sausage, followed by smoked ham and turkey - a sort of deconstructed Turduckin, but better . But before we even get to that three dinners for one, there's Christmas Eve and The Feast of the Seven Fishes - not one, not two.... but SEVEN different seafood dishes. And then there's the appetizers and desserts and cookies and cookies and desserts... It's insane. The first time Greg came home with me he went and laid down on the couch away from everyone. When I went in to check on him he said he just couldn't be around food anymore.

However, this year we're staying home. It's just too early to travel with Jake. It's too close to his surgery and there's just too much at risk. While I'm sad and will miss my family, I must admit that there is something special about spending tour first holiday with just the three of us.

I'm looking forward to presents and to giving Jake lots and lots of presents for many years to come.

Excuses, excuses

I'm not even going to start this post with "I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long...". So I haven't updated. I've been a little busy. We've moved. My living room is still stacked with boxes. The house is halfway painted and we have an entire room without furniture. Then there's the regular household chores like scrubbing toilets and doing dishes and doing laundry (although those last two are a helluva lot easier with a sweet dishwasher and washer and dryer). Then there's work. My company laid off around 100 people. I'm pretty happy to have my job - let alone a job I love - but it's been stressful. Oh, and did I mention I now spend 3 hours a day commuting.

But enough of the excuses.

I feel guilty as all hell for not sharing Jake's stories for so long. I have a backlog of posts swimming around in my head but I have to move on with the current tales. Maybe I'll get around to getting caught up someday, but with an 11th month old, a new house, and a stressful job, maybe I won't.

Home Sweet Home

I have never appreciated the true sentiment of "home sweet home" more then returning home after spending weeks and sometimes months in the hospital with Jake. We have been through so much with him and to return home, physically and mentally exhausted, gave deeper meaning to the phrase.

Now, "home sweet home" has taken on yet another new profound meaning because we have just closed on our first house today! We bought a modest yet cute 1940 ranch home in the 'burbs. It's in a quiet neighborhood, has a good yard, a garage for Greg to work on our cars in, a washer and dryer (no more laundromat!) and Jake will have his very own room! It's structurally sound but needs some updating, and we intend to return it to it's mid-century modern splendor with some hard work and time. You can read all about our retro renovation at 31 Sherman.

We want to give Jake the world, and though a house is not the world, it's definitely an upgrade from the one bedroom apartment we all share now. I can't wait to paint and decorate his room, to see him run around the yard, for family holidays together in our home and for all of the memories we'll make there together.

Home, sweet home, indeed.

The Many Moods of Jake Maxwell Casden Part 3

One photo shoot. Many moods...

Peek-A-Boo

Jake plays peek-a-boo! We've played peek-a-boo for months, and Jake loves it, but this was the first time Jake decided to play along. I think he might just be the sweetest thing in the whole world.

Jake Casden is a Wild Man!

Jake is a wild man! He has more energy than any baby I've ever seen. He's so energetic that he actually broke his bouncy seat. Greg had to rig it up so we could still use it. Sometimes I think he may bounce right out.

Check it out.

Plush Guts and Microbes

I found an awesome gift for Jake from I Heart Guts. They have great stuff including spleens, kidneys, the digestive system and even a plush uterus!

Jake loves his heart and the aorta makes for a great teething toy.



This reminded me of Giant Microbes, plush little cuties of all your favoriate ailments, including bed bugs, e coli, herpes and the common cold.


I think both I Heart Guts and Giant Microbes offer excellent stocking stuffers. Get 'em now for the holidays!

I Suck My Thumb, and My Fingers and Toes!

Exhibit A


Exhibit B


Exhibit C

Pick of the Litter

Jake has discovered the cats. He reaches and grabs for them whenever they are near.



I think its fair to say they've gotten pretty used to each other, and rather comfortable together. Wouldn't you agree?

Get Caught Reading

Jake loves books. Reading is a great way to calm him down. If he's wound up and bouncing all around, we can just open a book and he'll be immediately calm and captivated.



Some of his favorite books are Brown Bear, Polar Bear, and Panda Bear; My Truck is Stuck; The Byron Barton books: Planes, Boats, Trains, Trucks and Machines at Work; My First Book of Sushi; I Stink; Little Puppy and Little Bee puppet books... The list goes on and on.

Peek-A-Poo?

Jake got rather excited during this game of Peek-A-Boo with Dad. Turn your volume up and stay tuned at the end for a special treat.

This is what I'm thankful for...

Jake.

He's home, he's happy, and despite his heart issues, healthy.

'Nuff said.

Clap Your Hands (and Say Yeah!)

Jake has always loved when I sing "If You're Happy and You Know It" to him. He smiles and laughs when I sing it. Lately, I've been clapping his hands together while singing. Today, I was repeating "clap your hands" over and over again while clapping his hands for him. Twenty minutes later, he's hanging out in his bouncy seat and I walk by and see him trying to clap his hands. He's been doing it all night, including when we sing "clap your hands".



We've just finished our evaluations for Early Intervention to help Jake get past some of his developmental delays. Jake is about 3 months behind on his gross motor skills, a natural effect of spending 3 months in the hospital. Even still, it's difficult to be told your 7 month old is physically at a 3 or 4 month level. So this is a major milestone - mimicking an action and following a command! I feel like there is a whole new meaning to the phrase "swell with pride" because I can feel it radiating from me. Go Jake, go.

Tomahawk Chop!

Jake has a brand new habit. I like to call it the "Tomahawk Chop".

Whenever Jake is just hanging out in his bouncy seat, the right leg is chopin', chopin', chopin' away. It makes his bouncy seat rock back and forth, so much so that it broke!

I caught his new trick on film recently. Unfortunately, I had the camera the wrong way so you gotta tilt your head to watch it. Enjoy.

Happy Halloween!

Best Dressed

Jake is one sharp dresser. Black is his color. In the hospital I tried dressing him in a yellow and green striped number with little frogs and fish on it - genuine baby stuff. He just didn't look right. Jake is definitely my little man in black.
This binkie and cross-bones shirt is quite possibly the coolest baby shirt ever. It's my favorite piece in Jake's wardrobe. This shirt is a real crowd pleaser too. I always get compliments on it.

iPood. Now that's clever - hispter, but clever.

Camo might just be my favorite color. This blanket reminds us to bring the cool to our accessories as well as our clothing.

Rocking the fauxhawk in a hand-me-down Stones onesie. Old school cool.

Who said sleeping gowns are only for old men? A sleeping gown in fancy camo is at the height of baby hipsterdom.

Minding the accessories once again, Jake sleeps on an old-time sailor tattoo patterned bed sheet. It doesn't get much hipper than that. Well, maybe if you throw in one of those trendy Ugly Dolls it does.
Jake sports a CBGBs onesie to show that he's the child of a punk rocker.
Skulls are a recurrent theme in Jake's clothing. This ensemble comes to us from (gasp) Baby Gap. Who knew?
Jake is mommy's little badass in this black skull hoodie. Badass!

Here's Jake in a pair of designer blue jeans from the Dutch label Imps and Elfs. Imps and Elfs specializes in urban-contemporary baby clothes putting a special focus on the baby's body shape, for a very comfortable fit (that's actually what it says on their website). Also on their website: A boy playing "Sweet Child O' Mine" on what appears to be a wooden parsnip. No kidding.
I love Jake so much it breaks my heart. "Mom's Ruin indeed!"

Chicks Dig Scars

Chicks dig scars
and boys who play guitars.
We hang out at bars.
We're gonna go real far.

I sing the chick's dig scars song to Jake every time I change his clothes, give him a bath, every time I see his scar. It's true, chicks do dig scars. I'm a chick and I love scars. I hope someday Jake meets a chick who loves not only his scar, but everything else about him. That will be one cool chick for one bad bug.

While I often make light of Jake's scar, at times it pains me to look at it. It's crazy to think that doctors cut my son open and operated on his heart. But the truth is, this surgery has helped him beyond what we had imagined. We have never seen him breath as comfortably as he is now. He used to breath around 70-80 breaths per minute. Now he's down to the 40s. And no more retracting or flaring like we used to see. It's really quite amazing.

Someone we know told us that our surgeon, Dr. Del Nido, has been said to have the hands of god. Now, I'm more a believer in science than one supreme being creating man but I have to agree that Dr. Del Nido did a bang up job on Jake. I think Jake agrees too from this picture.

The Space Time Continuum

The amount of TIME I spend adjusting the SPACES between paragraphs on blogspot is maddening!!!

Photo Blog

I posted a new photo blog of Jake's last hospital stay and open heart surgery on Flickr. You can check it out here.

I know some people question why I take and share these pictures. Sometimes I question if I should do so myself. I've heard a few people say they can't stand to look at them. The thing is, when I look at them, I don't see an awful picture of a baby recovering from heart surgery. I see my son. If we were at home without these health problems we'd be taking pictures of our pride and joy everyday. These are our baby pictures. These are our everyday pictures.

Look at how proud Greg and I are in the picture below.


This was taken when Jake was two days old, after his first catheterization (not counting the one he had while still a fetus). We don't see the wires, the tubes, or how puffy Jake looks. We don't see the high-tech equipment supporting him. We see our son and think he's beautiful. This is why I take pictures of Jake in the hospital.

Hiatus

One Bad Bug has been on hiatus. This was partially self-imposed and partially because Children's Hospital blocks any site considered a "social networking site". You don't want those teens keeping in touch with their friends on MySpace or Facebook while they are in the hospital now, do ya? Consequently, the two sites I most often use , blogspot and flckr were completely unavailable to me. Can't very well update the blog without access to those sites. The Internet was often broken as well. It was a crap shoot whether or not the WiFi would work in the ICU and there was so much to do in Step-Down that my computer and TV time both suffered.

I've also needed a break, not from the blog exactly, but from thinking, from remembering, from everything. The events of the last couple months have left me exhausted. Experiencing you child have a sudden cardiac arrest and open heart surgery are no small shakes. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to relax again. When I get home at night I can barely muster up the energy to turn on the computer let alone tap those creative juices for some clever and witty blogging. I guess I shouldn't try so hard. I should remember this blog is for me and for Jake and someday we'll be able to read it and remember the hard times and think, "I can't believe we went through that." Then I can show Jake his pictures and tell him stories of what a strong, brave boy he was and how much happiness and joy his life has brought us. And that is what inspires me to get back on the blogging horse and tell the tales of the past months, both good and bad, and to look forward to recording Jake's many adventures that are yet to come.